まいど、ソウジャ（創者 一客）イッカックです。
さーてー
先回のブログを見てらっしゃった方！
何が１５の秘密なんだよーって思って
一生懸命
お探しくださったのかもしれません。
「歯痒い」
創者、早く、教えてよ〜って言われそうです。
ココに
すべて、載せますので
あなたの結婚ライフについて
すべて、思い当たることがあれば
再確認して
相手との関係をもう一度、ふかーく
考えて
お互いの
繋がりや
どうして、結婚したのか
原点に返って
頂ければ
お互い幸せになれるということです。
決して、お互いを裂こうとして
このブログを書いているのでは
ありません。 あしからず。
これは、人間対人間の絆や関係を
わたしは、究極の原点に帰って
考えていっているのであり
男と女
または、自己と他人との関係
というより
自己の人間性と自己に影響する関係性を
テーマに言っています。
要するに
人は一人では生きていけません。
ということです。
さて、話し戻して
ご披露します。
１５の秘密。
英語です。
最初の１番号は
イントロです。
したがって、全部で１６項目。
では・・・
1.
Every marriage is like a complex equation that has no perfect solution. It varies with people and situations and generates a unique theory of its own. And while it may be a fairy tale for some couples, others may have to give it a little extra attention to keep the spark alive. So while you are working on your marriage, here are some secrets to successful marriage that every couple should know.
Cooking a special dinner for your loved one, or running an errand for him every now and then is totally cute and adorable. But the problem with saying 'I love you' with actions is that you often don't know where to draw the line between 'helping' and 'expected to'. So while doing the laundry for your man every once in a while when you visit him is okay, spending an entire Saturday washing his dirty underwear load isn't! And if you still can't take the hint, here is a list of 15 other things that mean your man is taking advantage of you.
＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
ココだけ翻訳して見ます（というか、自分でネット翻訳ツールを使えば、最近は、結構、いいたい事が何となく分かってきます。
では、Ｇｏｏｇｌｅ翻訳です。
すべての結婚は完璧なソリューションを持っていない複雑な方程式のようなものです。それは人々や状況に応じて変化し、独自のユニークな理論を生成します。それはいくつかのカップルのためのおとぎ話のかもしれないがと、他の人はそれを生きて火花を保つために少し余分な注意を払う必要があるかもしれません。あなたがあなたの結婚で作業している間そこで、ここですべてのカップルが知っておくべき成功の結婚にはいくつかの秘密がある。
あなたの愛する人のための特別な夕食を調理するか、[今すぐに彼のすべてのための用事を実行しているとすると、完全にキュートで愛らしいです。しかし、アクションと「私はあなたを愛して」と言っての問題点は、しばしば「助け」と「期待」の間に線を描画する場所を知らないということです。たまにあなたの人のために洗濯をしているので、中には彼が大丈夫です訪問したときに、全体の土曜日の洗浄を費やして彼の汚れた下着の負荷はありません！それでもヒントを取ることができないなら、ここにあなたの男があなたを利用していることを意味15他のもののリストです。
__________
2.
Motivate openly but criticise in private: Tell your partner what you think about him or his ideas, but do not criticise him in public. Be open with appreciation and praise him in public and keep the criticism indoors. This will keep his ego intact and help you both avoid clashes.
Your guy is always too busy: You always check with him before you make any plan but he always cancels. Yet each time he makes a plan he expects you to drop everything, even last minute, and be there? Well, that’s your first sign of being treated like a doormat.
_____________________
3.
Mutual respect for feelings: Respect isn't something you can buy, you have to earn it. So be the kind of person your partner can respect. If one of you wants to go out partying and the other wants a quiet dinner, no harm. Respect each other's feelings and compromise. This will go a long way in your relationship.
You never get a call back: He blames the busy workday for not answering any of your calls yet he simply can’t understand when you are busy and can’t answer his calls.
You are always doing favours: In fact they are no longer favours, they are now expectations. What started out as a mushy gesture to clean up his bachelor pad is now a task you are expected to do every other day.
________________
4.
Same goals: For a marriage to last forever, you both should want the same things from life. Make sure you discuss your future. You could want a baby and he could want to move to another city. If you both are not on the same page, things will fall apart.
You are always at fault: He has put on extra weight and can’t fit into his pants anymore? Well, that’s your fault. If you hear this ‘It’s your fault’ one time too many in your relationship chances are he is just trying to blame you for everything and get an ego boost each time you apologise.
Good girls don’t talk about sex: As a society, we suppress sexual feelings to such an extent that a wife often feels ashamed to discuss her needs with her own husband. Don’t let the feeling of ‘shame’ come in the way of a healthy sex life.
______________
5.
Friendship is as important as love: Love is vital for your marriage but it’s also important to be friends with your partner. Being friends with him will make your life so much easier.
You are never made to feel special: We don’t expect roses and surprises every day, but if he doesn’t even bother making you feel special – in whatever small way – on your birthday and anniversary or bother asking about your day, he might be one of those men from Me Land who simply don't care about anyone else.
_______________
6.
Plan for the future: If you are in it for the long haul, then make sure you plan. This will bring a sense of stability to your relationship and give it perspective. So decide when you want to have kids or buy a house, and make arrangements for the same together.
You are never the priority: Be it for him or for your own self, you are never the priority. He expects you to put everything else after him and makes you feel like a second or third best option in his life.
Do what your husband says: In the past, married couples had a gender role to play where the man took the decisions and the woman followed. You are a strong, thinking individual and have every right to make your opinion heard and acted upon.
Don’t be too emotional: Many women shy away from expressing their true feelings for the ‘fear’ of their partner not understanding them. While we are in no way suggesting an emotional drama, at times, letting him know that certain things are just not acceptable, is a good idea.
_________
7.
Don’t expect him to change: You married him knowing well what he is like, so don’t expect him to change after marriage. Most women want their men to change and that’s the root cause of all their problems. Wake up, it isn't going to happen.
You are always doing favours: In fact they are no longer favours, they are now expectations. What started out as a mushy gesture to clean up his bachelor pad is now a task you are expected to do every other day.
Don’t wash your dirty laundry in public: Contrary to popular belief the first year of marriage is often the hardest. Don’t be afraid to talk about the problems and take help if necessary.
_________________
8.
Learn and grow together: Marriage is a life-time commitment, so be prepared before you take the plunge. Remember. over time people change and grow. You need to learn, grow and evolve together and become better versions of yourself. This will make your relationship stronger.
You are always doing favours: In fact they are no longer favours, they are now expectations. What started out as a mushy gesture to clean up his bachelor pad is now a task you are expected to do every other day.
Don’t go to bed angry: When it comes to everyday issues, try to follow this rule. But there are certain things that take time to work through. Sleep on it, think about it the next morning and try talking to your partner about it once again.
______________________
9.
Follow the 60-40 formula: Treat this as the thumb rule for your marriage. The 60-40 formula goes for both of you. Always remember in a marriage, you have to give 60 and take 40. This will keep your expectations low and happiness high.
Never argue with your husband: Believe it or not, the usual squabble over the TV remote is actually a sign of a happy marriage. Talking and arguing about issues indicate that you are communicating and trying to ease things out.
________________________
10.
Think of the big picture: If you are in a relationship, however amazing your understanding is, there are bound to be fights. But while you are quarreling over silly things don’t forget to think of the bigger picture and let the small things slide.
The husband has to be the sole breadwinner: This might be one of the most obsolete unspoken marriage rules ever. Women today have achieved far greater heights and men too are more open and supportive of their wives’ careers and growth.
_____________________
11.
Take some time off: Taking some time off from each other may actually turn out to be a great idea. It’ll help you clear your head and reinstate his importance in your life. It may also be a great opportunity to rejuvenate and get back to the happy zone. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Men need an ego boost: Well honestly, even the best of them need it at times (but so do we). We no longer have to draw our lives around what a man likes or doesn't. Be your own person and let him love you for it.
_________________________
12.
Avoid the silent treatment: You may think that giving him the cold shoulder is a good idea to get him to realise his mistake, but it’s not going to work. Instead just talk it out. Talking can open up multiple solutions and you might just end up solving all your problems. So if you don’t like it, say so.
You must not tell him everything: Yes, we married folk are honest about most things but imagine a conversation where you tell your husband that you are attracted to a guy or maybe that you hate his mother (you might have told him this already). Counselors suggest that this can be the first step towards a more liberating relationship and unconditional love.
____________________________
13.
Make time for your hobbies: Do the things you love. If you are happy, you’ll be able to keep your partner happy too. De-stressing by making time for your hobbies is important to retain your own individuality too.
Children must come first: Parenting requires a 25-hour vigilance, but that does not mean that you keep your life on the back burner till your child is big enough to not need you anymore. Pay attention to your relationship with your husband and don’t let your love life play second fiddle to your kids
__________________________________
14.
Common interests: Try to figure out the things you both like doing. It could be simple things like reading or playing board games. Make a list of all these things and try and do them together. This is a good way to bond and will keep you both happy.
You marry the family: Not really. Respect his family, yes, but also expect that same respect in return. You no longer have to ‘adjust’ and ‘put up with’ your in-laws just because you are related to them.
___________________
15.
Your own set of friends: Having couple friends to hang out with is a great idea but don’t lose your own set of friends. This will help you take some time off from your marriage and relationships, which is essential sometimes.
He manages the money: If you are a smart, working woman, you can very well manage your own money too. You don’t need your man to take decisions for you, unless it’s something that you both agree upon.
________________________
16.
Discuss money: Even though your husband might handle his finances well, it’s good to keep things transparent and know about all the investments made. Don’t let money spoil things between you two, whether yours or his.
He works, you manage the home: Wives letting their husbands cook or help with household chores was considered blasphemous at one point of time. This is no longer the case. Dividing the chores and working as a team works just as great in a marriage as it does in a corporate setting.
えっえ、英語だなんて
無理、無理！
と思っている、あなた！
あなたは、今
それほど、配偶者との間で、悩んでいません！
断言します。
だって、それほど、相手との
関係を改善しようと、
本当に、思ってません。
ところが、この英語の意味を本当に
何を言っているのか
確かめたい人ほど
配偶者との関係が
非常に「まずい」状況と察します。
そのような、あなたには
是非、このＵＲＬから
学んでください
でも、翻訳・解釈は
あなたしか、学べません。
適切な翻訳は無いと思います。
ご自分で、あなたの経験と知恵を総動員して
考えることが、良いのだと思います。
たとえば、
一番先の項目では、わたしの解釈ですが
・・・
すべての結婚は完璧な解決方法、つまり
あなたにとっての解答はありません。
結婚、それは複雑な方程式のようなものです。
結婚を通した人生
それは人々や状況に応じて変化し、
独自のユニークな考え方や常識（理論）を生成します。
それはいくつかのカップルのための
おとぎ話の話しかもしれないけれど、
他の人はそれを生きて、イキイキとした
輝いた人生の（火花）を継続して
輝かせる（保つ）ために少し余分な
注意を払う必要があるかもしれません。
あなたがあなたの結婚で
生きている活動している間
そこで、ここですべてのカップルが
知っておくべき結婚後の成就すべき
人生にはいくつかの秘密があるのです。
あなたの愛する人のために特別な夕食を調理するか、
あるいは、今すぐに彼のすべてのための用事を
いう事をきいて実行しているとすれば、
彼にとってあなたは完全に可愛らしくてで愛らしい存在です。
でも、考えてみてください。
あなたが行動したことが
「私はあなたを愛して」いるからといった
ことからくる行動とは、
「助け」と「期待」からくるモノであれば
むなしくありませんか。
あなたの自由な彼に対する思いの
線を描画する場所を持たなくなる
ということです。
たまにあなたは
家族のため
人のために洗濯をしているのであって、
時に、彼が、あなたのアパートに訪れて
一緒に過ごし、いつも土曜日に彼の汚れた下着の洗濯を
していませんか？
もしかして、あなたの彼があなたを利用している
ことを気づくヒントがこの15のリストに掲載されていますよ。
では、またお会いしましょう。
